Dickson's Week in Review, Aug. 7-13

It looks like Texas A&M; may be going to the SEC. A new school officially becomes an SEC member when an NCAA official throws out the first recruiting violation.

This is bizarre — amid reports the Aggies are leaving the conference, Big 12 referees called them for 85 yards in penalties — and football season hasn't even started.

There was a great open-field tackle at Memorial Stadium this week. Of course, I'm talking about Bo Pelini tackling the Kansas City Royals official who tried to get to Bubba Starling.

Reportedly, Ashton Kutcher may have a clause in his "Two and a Half Men" contract allowing him to leave early to attend Iowa home football games. Kutcher loves Iowa City. The clothes, hairstyles and cars bring back fond memories of "That '70s Show."

Joe Paterno is OK after a Penn State player collided with him. Paterno broke his leg in 2006 after a collision. The past few years, Paterno has taken more hits than Jim Everett did in his entire career.

Deion Sanders was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. As often as he says things like, "Deion deserves this" and "Deion worked hard and it paid off," he could've been the first Hall of Fame inductee to present himself.

The stock market was up 423 points on Thursday. Unfortunately, earlier that week, I sold all of my stocks and invested my life savings in Hartford Colonials gear.

The UFL is contracting to four teams. How embarrassing is it going to be for Virginia Destroyers coach Marty Schottenheimer if he can't make the playoffs now?

In Nebraska City, 100-year-old twins just celebrated their birthday. They're so old they can remember the last time Nebraska signed an in-state basketball recruit.

After South Sioux City's Mike Gesell chose Iowa over Nebraska and Stanford, Gesell's high school coach said, "Mike wishes there were three of him so he could attend each school." A desperate Doc Sadler said, "Well, how far along are we with the cloning thing?"

Members of a family are suing other members of a family for Duke basketball season tickets they claim are rightfully theirs. A family of Duke basketball fans torn apart. That sort of makes one feel warm all over.

The Lake County Fielders, whose announcer quit during a game recently, had to cancel a game in the second inning because they didn't have enough baseballs. L.A. Dodger fans, pay attention — this is your future.

NASCAR's Brad Keselowski won the Pocono 500 driving all 500 miles with a broken ankle. In a related story, the symposium, "Are NASCAR Drivers Real Athletes?" has been canceled.

Earnhardt-Ganassi Racing fired two pit crew members after they were arrested on marijuana charges. Reason No. 85 for Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s non-winning streak: pit crew members may be stoned.

A Blackhawk Army helicopter landed at the Cox Classic to present the trophy. This was the second choice for organizers, but all of the space shuttles had been retired.

There are two new excellent columns on The World-Herald website — Pigskin Pulse and Dirk's Brunch Bites. You combine that with my daily Breaking Brad, and this makes The World-Herald the Worldwide Leader in Alliterative Columns.

A woman named Jennifer Pharr Davis broke a world record by hiking the entire Appalachian Trail. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way she lost her keys and now she has to retrace her steps.

And finally: The Sarpy County Fair featured a demolition derby. Ironically, there were more accidents on 84th Street driving to Sarpy County than there were at the actual derby.