Kelly: NPR host pokes fun at Omaha

National radio host Michael Feldman asked a direct question Saturday at the Holland Performing Arts Center: "Whad'Ya Know?"

The well-rehearsed audience of about 850 replied in unison: "Not much. You?"

That's the NPR show's standard opening. And it turned out that Feldman, for 25 years the host of the humorous "Whad'Ya Know?" program, knew quite a bit about Omaha — facts, near-facts, possible facts and, well, nonfacts that were aired on 200 public radio stations.

For two hours of conversation, audience quizzes and music, he played it mostly for laughs — including quips about the Flood of 2011.

"That's what you get when you use the Missouri River for a border," Feldman said. "Whose idea was that? A nice river, but it makes a lousy border."

He said when he and his crew flew in, he hoped the plane had pontoons. Interstate 29, he said, should have been built on stilts. And he said it's been exciting for Omaha this summer "to see how much of the population could fit on the Bob Kerrey footbridge before it started to rock."

He noted that the Nebraska National Guard is no longer patrolling the levees, but joked about an imagined military skirmish on the Muddy Mo.

"The National Guard has left after battling the Army Corps of Engineers to a standstill," Feldman said. He added: "The corps has taken a lot of heat because the public mistakenly assumes dams are to hold back water."

The show is based in Madison, Wis., but hits the road about eight times a year. Todd Witter, the show's producer, said in an interview from Madison that Feldman and the crew loved Omaha, including Old Market restaurants, the Holland Center and the turnout.

"It was a great time," Witter said. "We talked about it a lot afterwards."

He said Feldman has one research assistant but writes his own monologue. "He read your paper a lot."

It's a tricky balancing act — using local humor that will draw a big crowd reaction but also appeal to a national audience. Feldman is a pro at walking that fine edge. At times, his jokes can also be edgy.

Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning apologized last week for comparing welfare recipients to beetle-eating raccoons, but Feldman wouldn't let it go. He claimed that Bruning made the comment because "as a child, he was attacked by raccoons who ate a third of his brain."

Feldman noted that Nebraska is the only state with a unicameral legislature. "Unicameral is a good idea. No-cameral is a better idea."

Returning to the water theme, the host made a political joke by comparing a smaller Nebraska river to the one that's caused the most grief: "Curiously, the Republican River is not flooded at all. ... The Missouri, obviously, is a Democratic river, overflowing its banks. Another surge."

Feldman, who is Jewish, made ethnic references. He regretted the demise of Rosenblatt Stadium, named for a former Omaha mayor who was Jewish, because "you don't have that many Jewish ballparks around."

The audience enjoyed his humor and all the local references.

As a Wisconsin fan, Feldman welcomed Nebraska to the Big Ten, saying that the Big 12 could become the "Big Zero." All in all, the show was a big positive for the Big O, another appearance on a national stage after a number of high economic and cultural rankings in recent years.

Richard "Dick" Holland, the major donor for the construction of the performing arts center, watched most of the show. Feldman, admiring the hall, said from the stage: "Thank you, Mr. Holland!"

The show covered a lot of ground, but the main topic of jokes was the flood. Corn and soybean prices are down, Feldman said, but watercress and rice are doing well.

"It's safe to say," he added, "that 'Where South Dakota Drains' will never make it as a slogan in Nebraska."

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