Annie's Mailbox: Omahan's friend quick to point out flaws

Dear Annie: My best friend, "Lizzie," feels that it is appropriate for her to correct others on their manners. She chastised someone for texting during a meal and primly announced to all that we mustn't eat before the hostess does.

My friends are adults, and while their manners may not be perfect, it is not my place to correct them. I am responsible for seeing that my daughter develops proper manners. Lizzie, however, insists she is being helpful when addressing the shortcomings of others.

I know some of our friends resent this behavior, as do I. We went out to a nice restaurant last week, and as soon as we sat down, Lizzie told me to put my napkin in my lap. I said I knew that, and I simply hadn't gotten to it yet.

While she may be right in theory, constantly being judged makes me very uncomfortable. What is your opinion?

Omaha

Dear Omaha: Lizzie is guilty of a breach of etiquette. She is rude. One does not correct other adults in public, ever, nor should she be lecturing her friends about their behavior unless they are spitting across the table (although texting comes close). She may mean well, but she is making herself obnoxious and unwelcome.

Dear Annie: "Modest in Iowa" did not want a male nurse to attend to her in the hospital. As a well-educated, experienced male registered nurse, I find this type of behavior frustrating. Modesty and privacy are always respected by the professional nurse. A patient's request for a female nurse is accommodated provided one is available. Staffing is tight in health care, and we all try to give patients a satisfactory experience while meeting their medical needs.

What concerns me even more is that her fiance threatened to assault the health care worker who was trying to assist her. This type of behavior is unacceptable and dangerous.

Nurse in Pennsylvania

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